Secretary of Education

With today's Sec.of Educations confirmation has the entire country in am uproar. I get it! I do!!!!

I have mixed feelings about it all. Here is the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Let's start out positive. So the good. I want there to be a change within the department of education. I want to see schools and students thrive. I know that teachers work hard and the support staff too. I want teachers to have the freedom to teach. I want teachers and support staff to earn more money! I have 2 special needs kids so my situation might be different than some but hear me out. I have been pretty happy with the people that interact with my children on a daily basis. They have hearts of gold. .......

But here comes the bad......the system is broken!!!!! The system is failing my children, and many others in my community! I know more people that pull their children from public school and start homeschooling because their child's needs are not being met. This state doesn't fully fund education, and I don't see that happening anytime soon. The federal government's job should not be to bail out the state! We have schools that don't do due diligence with special needs kids and IEPs, and they don't follow 504s.....both of those are mandated by the federal government and this state/school district just doesn't do it. The system is designed to help a flailing student get to just subpar. Not anything extra. That sucks!  There is a SCOTUS case right now about free and appropriate education, FAPE, basically it wants to define "appropriate". There is always the discussion about funding....... if funding followed the child and not the school maybe it would actually be better for our kids??? Maybe it would be better for the school as a whole????? I don't know.

The ugly...... DeVos doesn't know about FAPE and IDEA, that is bad! I have seen that vouchers don't help everyone.The disabled would be disadvantaged, that is not what is supposed to happen.Would vouchers help my kids to have other options? I have no idea. There can't be a one size fits all to this. This is all very convoluted, and as with anything with the government, there is a ton of red tape.

 I dont think we can look to one person to fix (or mess up even more) the system. I think each of us needs to be active in our child's education, volunteer at school if you can, support the teachers and staff (they have a hard job), do what you can. As always, advocate for your child, teach your child to advocate for themselves. I think if we come together a bit more as a community, then maybe the future wont look so bleak. Im not ready to throw the baby out with the bathwater quite yet.

Speech and language....sometimes it's funny

I found thus and i didnt publish it....but i sm now, after the fact. So, my 3 1/2 year old is having a speech burst. He is  having a moment of clarity. I love it. The funniest thing he has said just happened today.

He was sitting in a chair and farted....like a big fart. He then looked at me and said," I thought I had to go potty, but it was just a fart." *oh, gross! You are all boy*  I then replied,"Dude! You might have to go potty and not just pray for a fart." He then just said with a bit of 'tude " it was just a fart".

So now a year later he facts real loud and says, "I farted! ha, ha, ha!"

He is all boy!

Listening to my girl

It is a long weekend which in our house is a crap shoot if it is good or not. Friday night was busy with a girl scout thing, (she is selling cookies soon so local peeps watch out!) Saturday the hubby wanted to get out of the house....so we did. Later that night, my daughter said, "Mommy, I want to stay home ALL DAY tomorrow." I replied, "You have a birthday party tomorrow so you cant stay home all day." She said, "ok, go to the party but stay home the rest of the day."

See, not that long ago, my daughter just wanted to stay home on weekends. it caused a lot of friction in our house. My husband hates being home on the weekends, he needs to get out. I am so busy during the week that I want to stay home, relax and maybe catch up on laundry. Our daughter is so worn out from her week that she needs time to just be her and recharge. She wants to watch some TV, play with her stuffed animal Owls, color, draw, read.......Our son.....I dont think he leans one way or the other just yet.

See with her being at home she doesnt have to be "on". She can flap, spin, crash on furniture *much to my telling her a thousand times to not crash onto the couch*, her conversations are a bit mixed up, or lacking detail, and nobody faults her for it at home.

We did go to the 'happy birthday XXXX Swimming party!" She had a great time, I had a great time! She was in the pool burning some energy off and for those of you not in the know, swimming is a huge sensory activity. She is getting sensory input over her entire body and it is awesome for her! If we could carve out more time she would be in swimming a few times a week. *sometimes this balancing things and kids suck* She ate pizza, cake, ice cream the whole thing. Had a few overwhelming moments but for the most part she worked through them. She asked to leave the party room for a break.....she could still hear everything in the hallway so it wasnt ideal but she did it. She still needs people to read her cues but every once in a while she can tell someone what she needs. We went home and then it started.

She crashed. She needed sleep, rest, time by herself. Some of that is hard with a little brother that wants to hang out with big sis all.the.time.

Monday she didnt have school because of the "Martin Luther King JUNIOR had a dream' holiday. She went to the "tool store" (which in our house is anything from a hardware store, home depot, tool stores, sometimes walmart). She picked out stuff for her derby car, hung out with daddy, got McDonlads. She came home and just snuggled into her blanket for a good hour. She then had ABA therapy and was all over the place. she wasnt wanting to work, she had enough! Less demands were asked of her, more 'playing'. She doesnt have to be "on" with ABA, hell, they have been with her for years and know how she is.

Therapy was over and she crashed into the couch and watched TV for a bit, just snuggled up in her blanket, needing quiet.

With all of us, behavior is communication. When my daughter hides under her blanket, or on the rare occasion that she is under a table she needs it. When she says she needs quiet, she needs it. When she is crashing into my broken up couches, she needs it. Slowly she is needing these 'weird' behaviors less and less. Slowly, she is able to use her words to get someone to understand what she means. Slowly, with a lot of very hard work she is making it in our world. Sometimes, I need to listen better to go into her world too.

time warp

I was proof reading a friend's paper for a college class. It was about when her daughter got diagnoses with Autism. It was written beautifully. It also brought a lot of feelings back. it brought me back to almost 4 years ago.

I mean nobody wants to be told that something is wrong or different about your child. Nobody. I know that when you are beating your head against a wall for a doctor to listen to you and they finally find something you are like, 'see, I told you!' but you still never really want there to be time that someone has that conversation with you.

As a parent, your dreams for your child die. You mourn the loss of what you thought your kid would do or be like. You are faced with so many questions that it is overwhelming. I have heard those words twice. The funny thing is, with my son (the younger kid), it was almost expected. It was clear he was going down the same path as his sister. With my daughter, it was.....more than a punch in the gut...more like a bus hit me and my world ended-but I didnt die. I had to be strong for my kids. I was in 'planning mode' it really is what I do best.

I was planning our next steps, planning to get enrolled in military specific programs that help special needs families. paperwork, and more paperwork, setting up more therapies, special education preschools......you name it, I did it.

Both times we got the bombshell news my husband got deployed right afterwards. So I did what I do best, plan accordingly.

I fought doctors, fought Tricare (military health insurance), fought the school district.....I fought for our kids tooth and nail. When I finally got our daughter settled into this full time therapy life, I had to do it all over with my son. For him, the biggest hurdle was fighting Tricare on one little thing. At the time, a child had to be 18 months old before they can get ABA therapy. Now, you are told once you get a diagnosis that ABA therapy will save your life. For our family, it has. The fact that my son had to wait 6 months before he can get ABA therapy......it killed me. You are told early intervention is the key, the sooner the better......and my son has to wait. For me it was like saying your child has cancer and you cant get chemo for 6 months. That is unacceptable!

We did start other therapies with him (some we had been doing already) and the day he hit 18 months is the day he started ABA therapy. Now Tricare does not have an age requirement for ABA therapy, and I would like to think that I had a small part in that. I made many phone calls, emails, letters, etc. and I got others to do the same and policy was changed!

Since that day in 2012, My kids have grown, they have become a part of our world. Since that day, I have changed. I have become tougher, stronger, louder. I have lobbied military entities to help our families, I have become a voice not only in the school district, but in our community. I am a strong voice for my children until they can find their own. I became a special needs parent. Tough, and strong.

Got Guilt???? I do!

This morning was hard, and I feel guilty!

My son crawled in bed with me at 6 am to snuggle. Now I really wish that he would stay in his own bed but I know that one day he wont need to snuggle with me so.....I said,' if you can climb up here, you can be here'. He was then trying to say something and for the life of me, I couldnt understand, he was frustrated beyond belief......this was how our day started.

I then got up, dressed, laundry, got the kids up and dressed.....even with a visual schedule I have to put the sense of urgency in them. *for all that is Holy, they can not miss that bus!* My son then starts crying that I wont help him get dressed. He is perfectly capable *finally* to pick out a shirt and pants and put them on, if he needs help, I help, but he has to try. Then my daughter is crabby because her brother is crying......again......I am exhausted writing this.

Then the struggle to eat, brush teeth, shoes, and get on the bus. He pitched a fit the entire morning. There is even 'stay n play' at his school. He loves when the parents come, he loves when we come. My husband had to be at work and I.....couldnt do it today. I feel guilty that I dont have it in me to be with my kid at school. I feel horrible that he struggles so much. This is my chance to show the school that he is awesome with his communication device and I am choosing to not go! I feel horrible that he is going to be upset that I didnt come.

My daughter struggles to get ready and stay on task (but somehow she is a superstar at school). She loves school, she loves her "friends" (in her world everybody she can see is a friend), she loves to learn, etc. My son hates to socialize, he tolerates other kids in his space..........

My kids NEED so much of me and I am tired. I feel guilty for not having enough of me to go around, I feel guilty that I am writing this now instead of being at his school, I feel guilty that I am never at my daughter's school. I just feel guilty.

I need to drop this guilt like a bad habit. I know that I am doing the best I can. I know that my kids know I am there for them. Now I am picking myself up and dusting myself off and I am going to get to work. The guilt can go.

The reality is not real

This is going to get real today.

I reconnected on Facebook with a friend from high school about a year ago. Her posts were always positive, uplifting, upbeat. We had a few conversations over the year and all of them she was helping someone out. Whether it was giving me encouraging words, asking me if I could help out a friend of hers......she was always looking out for others, that was her nature. I found out that he upbeat, positive, great picture taking life wasnt so perfect. She was a victim of domestic violence, that usually doesnt just happen over night. It saddens me that someone is going to grow up without parents, it saddens me that a life was taken senselessly.

Now, I am not going to pull out actual statistics but here is what I see:

Military families see increasing domestic violence, increasing divorce rate, you throw special needs kids in the mix and I am sure that it blows up the numbers exponentially. There are factors that others dont have per se, like multiple deployments, multiple moves, PTSD, other health concerns related to military service, lack of family support......the list can go on. I am not saying that military families have it more difficult, just different.

You add in social media......the picture perfect couple, the fabulous lifestyle, the M-Effer Pintrest S&^%!.......usually, that is not the reality.

The reality is that the neighbor down the street could be beaten by their spouse, the kid at your child's school could not have food to eat or their own bed to sleep in. The person you work with could be a drug addict.


You really dont know what goes on behind closed doors.

You dont know that we took a billion pictures on Santa's lap and 2 seconds after we finally got a "perfect picture" one kid makes a face and the other was crying and we got looks for *worst parent of the year*.  You have no idea if your friend's perfectly spotless house ....maybe she is a hoarder upstairs. The neighbors that are 'keep up with the Jones' type' might be in debt trying to do so......who knows.

My point to all of this is, you never know what is really going on with people unless you are with them behind closed doors. We all need to stop measuring our worth by Pintrest and perfect FB posts. We need to lift each other up. We need to not think there is a stigma that you cant get help. I know I cant do it all, and my life is not a picnic by any means, but I go to support groups, I see a psychologist for ME! Advocate for what YOU need! Get respite to get a break from your stresses.

If I need help and support, I reach out!!!!!

I just wish more would do the same.

Are we the next voting demographic

Now, I normally dont get very political because usually folks can not have a civil convo about any of it. But this article is popping up all over my FB feed, I read it and honestly, not impressed. I mean, thanks for mentioning Autism but that was all I got out of that.

Here is the article I am talking about, enjoy......or not.....whatever.


https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/01/05/hillary-clinton-outlines-autism-proposal-calling-for-nationwide-early-screening-initiative/

Basically, in a nut shell. Hillary wants to get funding for diagnosing, treatment, finding cause, helping adult autistics after they 'age out' of the system. That is great, really, it is about time. However, how would this pass congress? how would it be paid for? How would a national plan look? Usually to make things better, you have to get rid of the red tape......wouldn't this be adding to the tape????

Most people that are in our boat do not care about what caused it, we need tools to help our family survive the day to day stuff, and to help our kids on the spectrum become adults on the spectrum and be the best they can be. My goal as a parent is to get my children to be functioning, independent, productive, members of society. Now how is that going to look in reality, I'm not sure, we have a ways to go still.

Also, my one kid's needs vary from the other.....how can you make a plan that would encompass ALL spectrum individuals?

This is my theory. I think *they* (assuming there will be more politicians that jump on this band wagon) are seeing the parents/caregivers/autistic adults as a voting demographic. Not that they dont truly want to see some change but it is really hard to know what needs done, how to help, etc. unless you live in this world. Here's an idea, not just listen to families, but listen to autistic adults!!!!! *what a novel idea*

Ask families what would help, what therapies should be included *like why is ABA therapy not part of the ACA*. Tthat if your medical insurance doesnt cover something and your kids dont meet guidelines for state assistance those families are left out in the cold to pay for everything on their own......that is a struggle. When your kid 'ages out' of the system at 21 they are shoved off the cliff-they have years long wait lists for services.....again, qualifying is something else.  Ask Ari Ne’eman, president of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network his input on what needs to be done!

What I am asking all of us in the trenches to do is to stop and think about your vote. I know that everything sounds great but how would this get done? Keep writing to your congressman, keep the pressure on. Join advocacy networks to make your voice heard. I am part of American Military Families Autism Support.....it is a 'boots on the ground' grass roots network that helps military families with children on the spectrum with navigating insurance, military moves, and much more. We have made a difference in shaping tricare policy for our kids. Our voice is getting louder.

Make your voice heard, make the politicians accountable.

The war at our house

ok, so how many of you are super lucky to have 2 spectrum kids, really??? just me??? Well, just like *regular* siblings they can have similarities and big differences. The biggest division of our house is meal time!

Yes, I said it! MEAL TIME!!!! My girl is a eat everything in sight and then figure out if I like it, healthy eater. My son.....he is the OH, F*&$ something is on my plate ......let's just say it is a struggle, I mean he is a selective eater. He eats 10 foods-well, ok now I think we are up to a food group and every once in a while he will take a bite of something willingly. I have tried bribes, feeding therapy, ABA techniques, you name it we have done it. This child, for being not exactly skinny, will not eat. His staple is a PB&J and if it wasnt for every school being nut free that would be cool but......yeah, the whole nut free thing kinda ruins it for him.

Meal time is EPIC....not to be confused with that youtube thing, Epic Meal Time-my hubby loves those guys. So in one corner we have the kid who will eat her entire dinner, and seconds, and then circle around you like a vulture for scraps. Then at the other end of the table we have the young one refusing to eat. I mean, telling someone, 'when they get hungry, they will eat', has never met a child on the spectrum. My son is especially stubborn *God help me!*. We have to get him to take one bite of the non-preferred food, watch him look at you like he will kill me in my sleep, then he will choke it down, to celebrate. Talk about exhausting!

Feeding therapy is almost a slap in the face. Dont get me wrong, I love the awesome Speech therapist, and the equally awesome O.T. but when he eats 30 teeny, tiny, bites of spaghetti for them and looks at me like 'die, B*%*%' ...I think I want to cry....and then give him spaghetti for the rest of the year until he eats. *see my previous statement about if they are hungry*

ABA techniques are great......until you are out in public and he is melting down over the fact that his hotdog is on a bun......yeah, dude, just take it out of the bun-problem solved!

I have relaxed some about this war....I have to remember to pick my battles. If he eats 3 bites of dinner and then wants an apple-go for it! When he hasnt eaten anything most of the day...which really means, he protested lunch at school.....and then he wants a bigger snack-ok, but you will have to take those 3 bites at dinner *I know he really hates me deep down*. After he chokes down those 3 bites, we will celebrate every victory.

I am hoping that at some point this war will be over.......one day. #warishell

waiting for a song

It is always funny how you have 2 kids that are so similar but yet vastly different at the same time. Our Son is 3 and he has had a bit of an uphill battle. He has autism, epilepsy, apraxia of speech and a few other conditions, mostly neurological in nature.

Autism just means that he has difficulty with social, communication, and behavioral domains that keep him from functioning in the world with the rest of us.....in a nut shell. The apraxia is just something that really throws a wrench in it, it is a neurological condition where your brain and mouth there is a disconnect between the two. There are times that he can talk and it is clear, and then there are times that he is trying so hard and it comes out like gobblygook no matter how hard he is trying.  He does have a communication device that he uses but the school isnt on board with it.....that is another post for another time. Then the epilepsy can sometimes add to it.

Anyway, my point is that he does love music, despite what the school says. He does not participate in any musical or singing thing at school at all, they think it is his personality......oh. no.....they dont know the real him.

He can air drum with the best of them, we have a piano that he loves to play, we have guitars, a drum, a tambourine. oh, and his sister thinks she lives in a Disney musical, so music is all around us all of the time. She sings Frozen (yeah, still!) and he smiles along and tries to get the words out but they dont come. It is like that a lot for him.

AND THEN IT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!

Him and I were sitting watching Disney's The Lion Guard for the 100th time and he sang with the show.....he sang the words, they came out and he was proud of his voice! I would not of believed it if I didnt hear it with my own ears but he did! He sang a song and he did it well!

He sang his song, was be boppin' his head, as I was tapping my toes. We was just happy as a clam.

Go T!!!!!!

Keep on singing!

Ringing in 2016

This time of year I start reflecting on the past and looking forward to the future.  There are good and bad times from the past, all which have made me the person I am today. As far as the future goes.......I guess we wont know, until we know.

I do know that I used to be feisty. Now people say I am just a B. *If they only knew* I do not let my mouth run away anymore, I am also kinder with my words and weigh them out before I say anything. *see that maturity!!!!* I also have resting bitch face and overly emotional face but at different times. The only thing that I am sure of myself is that I am probably F%$^king something up.  I dont have a perfect life nor do I even pretend that I do. Trying to keep up with appearances...or even with the Jones' would be too exhausting.

My big resolution this year is to be kinder to myself. To give credit to myself for my accomplishments and not be too critical of myself for my setbacks. Also, to get my butt to the gym. for real, there is no excuse, it is at the end of my street and both kids are gone to school by 815 in the morning. The third thing that is probably more important than the rest is to actually care for myself. My husband is home for a bit and we do have respite care but I need to use respite for more than a sitter so I can go to my appointments. I need respite from my house and my scheduled life. I need time to pick up a hobby to be my escape, to learn something, to be something that is reflective of me.

I hope that 2016 is kinder to me and our family than 2015 was.....well, we start today!

Personal Heroes

I am battling a crazy cold here and while I was hacking up a lung last night I was surfing Facebook. I ran across a post my husband wrote. While I wont get into too much detail, he said that our son is his hero. As I was tearing up because it was so sweet, it was also making me think, who was my hero?

Now naturally every child thinks that their mom or dad is awesome. Or maybe a fave teacher or something like that. For me, you would think it would be my psychologist.....I see her weekly for the past 3 years and she is awesome, and she keeps all of my crazy contained, but no.....it's not her. It is actually our ABA therapist, "L".

For those of you that are not in the know, an ABA (Applied Behavioral Analyst)  therapist is someone that works with autistic individuals on communication, socializing, behaviors, and functional skills to be better at coping with being with the rest of the world. Again, this is my take on it so don't get butt hurt if you don't agree with me.  ABA therapy is intense. I mean it is 5 days a week someone in your house intense. They are working on how to teach your kid to share, take turns, colors, how to use a fork, use their words, oh, God! you name it....they can do it.  We started when our daughter was 3 and then our son started when he was 18 months old. Again, this is intense, and you have teams of therapists in your space all the time. I have up to 5 hours a day of people in my house. That was all the insurance would allow at the time.

"L" has been with us in one capacity or another for over 3 years now. She knew our daughter when she could barley utter a sentence, she couldn't answer a question, she couldn't play........ "L" was there praising her for small victories, token boards filled, prizes given. She was just as excited when she met goals as we were. She also was around when our son started to roll over, crawls, stand....his first birthday, his diagnosis a month later. She had some personal stuff happen ( I mean, she is a person too!) and I would like to think that I and my family were at least a welcomed distraction from what she was going through.

We left that ABA company, but being in a small town that we are, we still saw each other, the kids, etc. had coffee, chatted.

We then started with another company and low and behold "L" was our daughter's therapist again.....it is like she never left our family. Now she is also working with the team that treats our son too both kids get so much from her. She sees the potential in both kids, she teaches our daughter how to lose gracefully, how to interact with friends, humor! She teaches my son that it is ok to use your words and tell your big sister, "NO!" (and that big sister needs to listen). She accompanies my girl out in the community and lets her be until she struggles, waits to see what she will do and then help her out in a non conspicuous way. She is helping my kid socially be accepted by her peers without being a crutch.

It will be a very bittersweet day when "L" will not be part of our daily life. I cant imagine what our life would be like without "L" and the other therapists on our team of peeps for both kiddos. I cant imagine what our kids would be like if we never had the early intervention they did. I cant imagine going this alone. I am grateful for "L" and the rest of the crew. Without them our life wouldn't be what it is today.

I have returned!

Hello out there! It has been 2 years since I have posted. A lot of things have happened......really just life happened. I have been struggling if I even want to put life out there. I mean, I am doing this for me in a way, it is therapeutic, but I also want to make sure that I dont do anything that my kids would read later and be like, 'mom thinks this way????'. I also think that I can not be the only person that thinks this.

First and foremost, I am not an English teacher (all though my sister is) and I will probably not be grammatically correct, etc. These are my thoughts, and mine alone. If you want something "professional" you are on the wrong blog. Also, I speak fluent sarcasm so dont get butt hurt....ok???

Anyway, We have been through so much even in the last year, multiple specialists, a brain surgery, balancing both kids' needs that are similar at times, but other times are like day and night. the alphabet soup of diagnoses that seem to get more and more letters added to it. People say, "oh, you are dealing with so much...." Mine and my husband's response is, "I guess......this is our normal".

We dont look for pity or anything. We really feel, it is what it is. I really hate that saying for some reason. I also hate the saying, God only gives you what you can handle......well, personally, God can spread it around a bit.  But I am rambling on.

 I feel like I am an "in-between" person.....I feel at times that I dont fit in with special needs families because our kids, while they have a lot of crap, they are not "severe enough" for some people. But then we are also not a typical family by any means. This "high functioning" autism...what the hell does that even mean????  I have a 6 year old that can sing any song after hearing it once, she seems to be a math whiz, but she can not get dressed with out prompting or her visual schedule. I have a 3 year old that "talks" but is unintelligible, he cant hold a crayon, but he can use tools and build all sorts of crap (that kid is getting a broken appliance to fix for his birthday....life skills baby!).

While I am not going to be airing tons of  "Negative Nancy"  stuff, I will also not be all, "shiny, happy, people" up here either. So welcome back.....or just welcome. I will be trying out this blog thing again. enjoy.

typical has a whole new meaning.....

I have been horrible with blogging.  I seem to pick it up and set it down for a while. I have had so much happen to me and my family in the last well...even 6 months.

The word 'Typical' has taken an entirely different meaning to me.  My daughter was diagnosed with Autism last October. Initially, it was a punch in the gut.  I always knew that there was something not quite right with our girl but she was happy, and healthy.  My hubby and I just thought she was having a speech and language delay. She was getting better, but not. It really was hard to pin point anything. Her newest SLP told me her thoughts and suggested we get our daughter evaluated for ASD. We did and here we are today. Our daughter is not a typical child. That was tough to adjust to saying neurotypical (NT) versus our kiddo....a kid on the spectrum.

I mourned the loss of crazy sleepovers, parties, and just having a happy, well socialized kid. Even though her prognosis is good, there is still so much that is unknown.

Out typical day is now ABA therapy, speech therapy, OT, social groups and special Ed preschool. This poor child is so schooled out by the time it hits 3 o'clock.  She loves the structure of it all but sometimes she just needs her little escapes.....jumping, rocking, organizing things, and the rare instance that she has a meltdown or starts to flap her hands.



And then there is her little brother. My Pumpkin #2 is super cute, has hit all milestones, except in one area. He started cooing then stopped for months. Now he is cooing again but no babbling. Smiles, makes eye contact, engaging.....down the same road as his sister? Who knows. Only time will tell.  So far, with the exception of cooing, he is doing the exact same things as Pumpkin #1 but I am not worrying about it. If he ends up a NT kid great, if he ends up on the spectrum also, that will just fine too.

I don't know maybe there is no such thing as a typical life.....

My Paycheck :)

I know that SAHM's work! I have always thought that way. Now that I am doing it myself I must admit that I am working harder now than when I worked outside the home. Labor laws gave me lunch and breaks, LOL!

Here is the breakdown of my (average) day.

630 am wake up by toddler (630 on a good day)
645       get cup of coffee, get toddler to settle down and not wake rest of house
700       make breakfast
730       feed baby
800       clean up breakfast
815        argue with toddler to get dressed
900       let toddler watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse/laundry/chores
1000     park/playtime/art (depending on the day)
1100      make lunch
1130      clean up lunch
1145       feed baby
1200      argue with toddler to take nap/rest time/chores/laundry
200pm   snack and feed baby
230        outside/playroom/special movie
430        start dinner
500        eat dinner, feed baby
530        clean kitchen again
600        baths
700        get toddler to bed (arguing again)
715        feed baby get him to bed
730        still argue with toddler to get her to sleep/camp out in hallway
1000      toddler asleep (thank God!)
1030-1100 feed baby again
11-2am sleep
2am feed baby again
3-5am sleep (until 6 if lucky)

start all over again!

ok, out of a 24 hour day I am 'working'  17 hours a day! Minimum wage for WA state is $9.04/hr

Based on a normal 40/hr work week that is 119 hours a week total! 40 hours reg pay and 79 hours overtime. So if my math is correct that would be a paycheck of $1432.84 a week! Thus $5731.36/month!!!! WOW!!!!  Just food for thought!

WOW! How can I do it all?

I have to put this disclaimer on this, I am venting!

I remember when I worked outside the home a 5 minute delay out the door to work really messed up my day.

Now me and the kiddos have a semi-routine. It is flexible to a point but having daddy home for the morning (he had a late shift at work) it was nice to have him home but it really threw a wrench in things. It threw my cleaning schedule off and pumpkin1 doesn't seem to like to do our 'routine' when Daddy is home. We then had lunch and nap time like always. She decided not to nap, as usual.

As She woke up from her nap she apperently got into my makeup and got it all over her bed.  we cleaned it up, washed linens, and put the bed back together. I talked with her about getting into things, of course a 3 year old has no concept of things and forgets things 5 minutes later.

Fast forward to an almost burnt dinner. We then get ready for bed. Pumpkin2 is hungry so I feed him and Pumpkin1 is in bed. I check in on her and there are baby wipes and hair product all over her and the bed. We clean that up, talk again, back to bed. Not even 10 minutes later I catch her with cortizone cream that I keep in her brother's room for his skin. I am livid!!!!

So, at this point I have her on the couch with me. I'm sure she thinks it is a reward but honestly I am tired of cleaning up her mess and really where did my good little girl go?  Why does she not understand that she can get hurt if she gets into the wrong thing?

I am now on the verge of tears, and now have a crying baby and a little girl that is super smart that I have to toddler proof for her, and not to mention my house is a wreck.

I guess I have to get back to the grind stone.

blog, blog, blog.

I got this awesome idea from a friend. She blogs about her daughter all of her silliness, accomplishments and family going-ons. She then gets the blog printed into a book every year. I think that it would be easier than a traditional scrapbook and then I can 'write' all of the silly stories, some with pictures some without, and it can be a keepsake for the kids!

I am starting this today! I hope that I can keep up with it. I am going to keep that blog private -sorry family- I do wish that you ask how I am doing with it, more to keep me honest about it. Maybe grandparents will get a cool gift??? Who knows.

Well, nap time is almost ovr so I guess it is back to real life.

The Pacific North West....What???

I really have been bad about 'writing' for a year! Here is the cliff notes:

We moved to Jacksonville, Fl for about 10 months (we were only supposed to be there for 4-6 months). We loved it! We had an awesome house, awesome neighbors, and another baby!

We now fast forward to the drive across country with a 2 month old, an almost 3 year old that is potty training, a mommy still recovering from a c-section, and daddy all crammed into a '05 Honda Civic. Fun is one word for it. We did stop and sight see some and it really wasn't too horrible, the potty training toddler was a handful but hey, her toys, bed, life as she knows it is on a moving truck and she has a new baby brother!  We did drive some of Rt 66 and saw some things that Pumpkin#1 seen in CARS.

Grand Canyon!

This looks like the movies CARS

Mader?????

Another pit stop

Street Car!

We made it to Whidbey Island, WA and we LOVE it here! So we do get to stay here for a bit, right????? Yes, we do! We are here for 3 years and I can finally unpack all of those boxes and really make a house into a home and feel settled.

Since the birth of pumpkin#2 I am now a SAHM. That is really hard for me. Most days I kinda wished I still worked outside the home. I feel like I do more now than I ever had before. Like my husband, I am on call 24/7 except he can get away from  work and co-workers and I don't.

I also find myself feeling isolated still, I mean we have only been in our house for a month. It is almost completely unpacked and settled in. I have meet a couple of neighbors but so far no new friends. I do have friends that we have known throughout flight training that are here which is nice and easing the transition some.

I have even been to a few command functions, which, if you know me you know that I hate them with a passion. I can honestly say that I actually had a good time. Who knows, maybe I won't go kicking and screaming anymore.

I am now enjoying the summer here in the PNW. Ferry rides, watching orcas, bald eagles, seals, starfish, and other wild life in my back yard. Breath taking mountain views and living by the water. I hope to get involved more with the community, teach my children to immerse yourself in the place that you live to explore all that you can. As you know we can be living somewhere else at a moments notice. :)

Seattle

moving is such hell!

It has been quite a while since I last wrote. Here is the readers digest version of things:

packed up the house in Texas. drove from Texas to Florida, got into a car accident on I10, ugh! drove wrecked car to Florida (we had to get there). turned in car to get repaired, got rental, drove to Virginia. Visited family in Virginia, Visited family in New Hampshire, drove back to Virginia, got the phone call that our new apartment wasn't going to be ready for another month, What?!?!?!? Drove to Florida to pick up my car and then had to cancel my job interview.....my dad had a stroke! (later we found out it was a TIA-thank God). Drove back to Virginia for another week, Drove to Florida-out running Hurricane Irene. Living in a hotel in Florida.

Yeah that is a lot of driving and a lot of together time, maybe too much???  I love my family but I also love my own life. Im not used to not having a job or my own money. I am not used to being with my now 2 year old daughter ALL DAY!!!!

Sorry this isn't a very insightful post, this is really more than an explosion of thoughts out on virtual paper.

And just think, We can do this all over again.......Ah, the Navy life......HA!

Saying Goodbye

I have to be honest, flight training has sucked for our family.  Our time in Pensacola was trying to say the least. There were plenty of times I would ask myself, ‘Why am  I still in this….this SUCKS!’  My husband was frustrated, tired, exhausted, short tempered, and impatient.   There were flight instructors constantly saying,  ‘If you are married with a kid you are going to have a rough time’. That got very old!  We eventually made it thru Pensacola to come here. It was a welcomed change.  Texas, here we come!

It has been 7 months since we have moved here and all I can say is, ”Is it time to leave already?”  We have lived in South Texas and we have loved it! The Aquarium is where my daughter fell in love with dolphins and other sea life.  The Botanical Gardens, is where we explored butterflies and ladybugs. The River Walk in San Antonio we enjoyed time as a family and had great memories with friends.  We have had cook out and holidays with friends that we consider family.  I worked with co-workers that I consider friends.  Really, Texas has been great for us.

On June 24, 2011, my Husband got his Wings of Gold and I couldn’t be more proud!  We are now awaiting to get settled into our next life in Florida again and we will be there for a bit until our next stop. With the NAVY you never know……..

I am hoping that Florida will bring more of what Texas did.  More time with family, friends, and explorations of the unknown through a soon to be two year olds eyes.   A family that is finding their own niche in life.  A little bit of adventure for a lot of memories. We will see what the next chapter will bring.

A Bad Hair Day.......

I got to my friend’s house after work and she blurted out, ”We have to talk.” As thoughts go racing through my mind I am thinking to myself, “Oh, was my kid that bad today that my friend doesn’t want to watch my daughter anymore?”

She brings the littlest of her 3 sweetpeas over and she says, “I’m sorry that I cut pumpkin’s hair. Can you forgive me????”  As I am trying not to crack up laughing I say, “Of course I can but no more cutting other people’s (or your own) hair . ok?”

Sweetpea 3 went off to her room to play.  My friend had that look of relief.  I guess this is where I have to back up.  All of us (meaning parents) were in a conversation about cutting pumpkin’s hair, my Husband despises bangs on little girls but pumpkin is always shoving her hair out of her face and she does not want to leave in clips, bows, etc.  The moms were saying yes to a haircut and my husband gave the ‘if one hair is touched on her head I will kill you’ look. So the moms were like ‘ok, so no haircut!!!!’

As most parents with little girls know is that some time or another girls will cut Barbie’s hair (my sister and I did), or they cut each other’s hair like sweetpea 1 did to sweetpea 2, and sweetpea 2 did to sweetpea 3.  So sweetpea 3 did it to pumpkin, after all, they might as well be sisters.  The worst one is when you cut your own hair right before picture day a school like my sister did!  

So  after I calmed my friend down I told her that my Husband would be fine! Accidents happen and honestly,  It doesn’t look bad, maybe sweetpea 3 will be a talented hair stylist!  The best part of all, I didn't have to deal with this.....