My Work Family....

Do you remember in School there was always one kid that didn’t fit in. The person that didn’t fit in might have been a bully, the class clown, the ‘smart’ one that just can’t relate, the band geek, the dramatic thespian…..the list can go on.

It is one thing that in the adult world the ‘outsider’ became the inventor of the next big thing, more than likely that person became the outsider at the work place. Now I’m not saying that all ‘outsiders’ stay ‘outsiders’, but sometimes that is the case.  That is the case with this individual.

You know how in my profile I had said, ‘I loved the work but sometimes loathe the job’?  Well, this is exactly what I am talking about.  This person is a very smart, is a great technician, I don’t know this person as well as some of the other people do but I like to call it like I see it……this person is a dumbass!

Most of the time, the other technicians and I work very well together. When one person is tied up with something the others pitch in to make the office run smooth.  This individual seems to have their own idea on how this should run. This person seems to disappear into a secluded place of the office and do work related stuff but they leave the rest of us hangin’.    Today it all seemed to come to a head!  This person called the rest of us LAZY!!!!!!  Now I don’t normally care what other people think of me but I am not LAZY! Not at work anyway (housework is a different story).

Now I am not sure what else was said or not said but this person threw a fit and stormed out of the office. I guess that cooler heads will prevail on Monday. However, my guess is that this person won’t last long in our ‘work family’.  Now I am going to wind down for the weekend and enjoy MY family.

From the Outside Looking In........

I often wonder ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ I think I ask myself that at least one time a day.  Am I doing right by my Husband, my Daughter?  Am I doing everything I could be doing?

I have this overwhelming NEED to have approval. I have this NEED to be the better person.  I have this NEED for perfection. My Husband wishes I have this perfection towards my house but for some reason that has never developed.  I wish I had the perfect family but I don’t. But then I think, what is a perfect family?  A mom, dad, 2.5 kids a dog?? Well we have one kid, one dog and two parents. I guess we are 1.5 kids to ‘perfect’!  

 Our daughter will never have the family that I dreamed of. She will never have late night sleepovers with Cousins. She will not have big family cookouts.  She might even be an only child.

 My husband and my’s immediate families are small and spread out and often are strained relationships at best.  She only has one Cousin right now to speak of and she will more than likely never meet him.  She has Aunts and Uncles whom she will never know.  She is the one who is going to suffer, or will she?  If she never knows of these individuals will she miss someone she has never known?  Am I doing her a disservice by not exposing her to the nuttiness of ‘our family’? 

I see others that have picture perfect families with reunions and picnics galore…..I hope there is more to see what is on the surface. In actuality do I HAVE the normal family? I guess only time will tell……..

Oh, the Easter Bunny....

My husband and I took our daughter to see the Easter Bunny this afternoon.  We walk past the Easter Bunny on our way to get shoes. (Yes, I am a wonderful mom, I had to get shoes for my kid on the way to the event...kinda last minute) and she throws a fit! crying beacause she couldn't go see the Bunny. She doesn't even know who he is?!?!? In fact neither do I! Why does a bunny come to the house and leave baskets of candy and small toys? I have no idea on that one. Lastly, why does a bunny hide eggs????

We buy the shoes and go to the E.B. and she sits on his lap. She has this look on her face like, 'why are you leaving me here?' She puts her finger to her bottom lip, a nervous thing she does, and she is moments from crying.....we snap the picture and she looks like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers.  The girls asks us if we want another picture and we say yes. We then are clapping and cheering 'YAY!' to get that smile going. And she finally does, two seconds after the camera snaps! Oh, well. We will try for next year.....

first official rant...I mean post.....

Hello everyone out there in blog land.  This is kinda strange for me. I am not a writter and most of the time I can't even string two thoughts together to where they make sense to anyone else but me. However, I am going to try my best to make this a coherant thought.  Why is it that the biggest critic of me is ME? I put so much pressure on myself that I get so worked up over stupid things that I can't even sit back and enjoy things. Take this whole winging thing.....well, I have to back up.

My Husband is in the Navy going thru flight training. At the end of it he gets his 'Wings of Gold'. It has been a very tough time for everyone with moving, the schedules, the constant job hunting etc. that this will be a welcomed event for our family. Anyway back to my point.....

I am putting so much pressure on myself about this winging it is ridiculous! I want to celebrate my husband's day and acheivement. I want everything perfect.....that is my job afterall! I am supposed to be the perfect hostess and partyplanner oh, and have my hair stay perfectly in place....HA! that will never happen, the hair part mainly!

I have picked out invitations even though I know that family will more than likely not come for a multitude of reason which I will not get into (that is an entirely different topic). I have a dress that looks fabulous but I am sure that some will roll their eyes. Our daughter has a dress and she looks cute no matter what.  I guess that I feel really out of place due to the fact that I am older, I have some weight on me, and I am not a typical Officer Wife.....I work! It is a forgeign concept that I work outside the home full time to pay off some bills and oh yeah, I don't want to stay home with my daughter. It sounds horrible I know but I NEED that adult interaction! I would rather die then go to a spouses' club anything!

Maybe I have a bad attitude, maybe I saw to much cattyness and backstabbing as a child (my dad was a Naval Officer as well). I know that there is good and bad to everything but why do I always think this way?  Why can't I just go with the flow? Why do I have this need to have everyhting perfect?

My husband has even said the only thing he needs is myself and our daughter there for his winging and everything else will fall into place.  Why is that not enough for me? Why do I feel I NEED to do more, something spectacular?

I think that is enough of a rant...I mean, post for one day!

Well, here it goes.....

This blogging thing is new to me but I feel that I have a lot to say. If anyone wants to read it that is fine by me:)

I look at pictures in magazines and sitcoms on TV and think to myself, "do people really have that fabulous of a life? Am I really that non-typical that my house is a wreck, we eat processed foods and our lives are hectic??? OR, am I the norm? I guess really only time will tell.

I am doing this blog for venting or even maybe a form of therapy. If you want to comment that is ok but please don't attack other followers, it's not nice.