Hello everyone out there in blog land. This is kinda strange for me. I am not a writter and most of the time I can't even string two thoughts together to where they make sense to anyone else but me. However, I am going to try my best to make this a coherant thought. Why is it that the biggest critic of me is ME? I put so much pressure on myself that I get so worked up over stupid things that I can't even sit back and enjoy things. Take this whole winging thing.....well, I have to back up.
My Husband is in the Navy going thru flight training. At the end of it he gets his 'Wings of Gold'. It has been a very tough time for everyone with moving, the schedules, the constant job hunting etc. that this will be a welcomed event for our family. Anyway back to my point.....
I am putting so much pressure on myself about this winging it is ridiculous! I want to celebrate my husband's day and acheivement. I want everything perfect.....that is my job afterall! I am supposed to be the perfect hostess and partyplanner oh, and have my hair stay perfectly in place....HA! that will never happen, the hair part mainly!
I have picked out invitations even though I know that family will more than likely not come for a multitude of reason which I will not get into (that is an entirely different topic). I have a dress that looks fabulous but I am sure that some will roll their eyes. Our daughter has a dress and she looks cute no matter what. I guess that I feel really out of place due to the fact that I am older, I have some weight on me, and I am not a typical Officer Wife.....I work! It is a forgeign concept that I work outside the home full time to pay off some bills and oh yeah, I don't want to stay home with my daughter. It sounds horrible I know but I NEED that adult interaction! I would rather die then go to a spouses' club anything!
Maybe I have a bad attitude, maybe I saw to much cattyness and backstabbing as a child (my dad was a Naval Officer as well). I know that there is good and bad to everything but why do I always think this way? Why can't I just go with the flow? Why do I have this need to have everyhting perfect?
My husband has even said the only thing he needs is myself and our daughter there for his winging and everything else will fall into place. Why is that not enough for me? Why do I feel I NEED to do more, something spectacular?
I think that is enough of a rant...I mean, post for one day!
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