time warp

I was proof reading a friend's paper for a college class. It was about when her daughter got diagnoses with Autism. It was written beautifully. It also brought a lot of feelings back. it brought me back to almost 4 years ago.

I mean nobody wants to be told that something is wrong or different about your child. Nobody. I know that when you are beating your head against a wall for a doctor to listen to you and they finally find something you are like, 'see, I told you!' but you still never really want there to be time that someone has that conversation with you.

As a parent, your dreams for your child die. You mourn the loss of what you thought your kid would do or be like. You are faced with so many questions that it is overwhelming. I have heard those words twice. The funny thing is, with my son (the younger kid), it was almost expected. It was clear he was going down the same path as his sister. With my daughter, it was.....more than a punch in the gut...more like a bus hit me and my world ended-but I didnt die. I had to be strong for my kids. I was in 'planning mode' it really is what I do best.

I was planning our next steps, planning to get enrolled in military specific programs that help special needs families. paperwork, and more paperwork, setting up more therapies, special education preschools......you name it, I did it.

Both times we got the bombshell news my husband got deployed right afterwards. So I did what I do best, plan accordingly.

I fought doctors, fought Tricare (military health insurance), fought the school district.....I fought for our kids tooth and nail. When I finally got our daughter settled into this full time therapy life, I had to do it all over with my son. For him, the biggest hurdle was fighting Tricare on one little thing. At the time, a child had to be 18 months old before they can get ABA therapy. Now, you are told once you get a diagnosis that ABA therapy will save your life. For our family, it has. The fact that my son had to wait 6 months before he can get ABA therapy......it killed me. You are told early intervention is the key, the sooner the better......and my son has to wait. For me it was like saying your child has cancer and you cant get chemo for 6 months. That is unacceptable!

We did start other therapies with him (some we had been doing already) and the day he hit 18 months is the day he started ABA therapy. Now Tricare does not have an age requirement for ABA therapy, and I would like to think that I had a small part in that. I made many phone calls, emails, letters, etc. and I got others to do the same and policy was changed!

Since that day in 2012, My kids have grown, they have become a part of our world. Since that day, I have changed. I have become tougher, stronger, louder. I have lobbied military entities to help our families, I have become a voice not only in the school district, but in our community. I am a strong voice for my children until they can find their own. I became a special needs parent. Tough, and strong.